“You look tired”

Well, do you know what? I am tired. I’m exhausted. I’ve been tired for well over three months before I went in to labour and stayed awake for over 36 hours. Pregnancy made me tired. Not having more than 3 hours sleep at once for 3 months has made me tired. Constantly being alert to someone else’s needs has made me tired. Running a household has made me tired. Trying to be a good mum for my toddler and baby has made me tired.

I wouldn’t change it for the world (it’s funny how that goes without saying but we always feel the need to say it), but I do wish people would stop saying how tired I look. I know! I feel it. I’m fighting it every second. I also felt pretty fresh today after the baby only woke up twice. I thought for once I was doing okay with my concealer around my eye bags. But no, I still look tired.

One day, these moments will be behind me and constant tiredness with hopefully be a thing of the past and I hope my memories of now are all about snuggles, laughter and messy, funny games. Yet here I am at 4am, unable to sleep while the whole house is quiet.